There is Nothing Like a Knight

So, apparently we now have Knights and Dames at the pinnacle of our honours list once again.  The queen has graciously consented to sign the letters of patent which will make Knight (or Dame) of the Order of Australia our top honour.  One can't help thinking the queen's side of that conversation probably went something like;

"Who?"
"Where?"
"They want what?"
"In god's name, why?"
"Can I say no?"
"Oh well give me the damn pen then"

This restitution has already had an immediate effect.  I for one have been humming "There's Nothing Like a Dame" most of the day.  The knighthood (or damehood?) will be awarded only to those who "have been called to public service rather choosing it" which quite neatly invalidates all politicians.  Tony Abbott may be old fashioned but he's not necessarily stupid.  It does mean that the short list is going to consist of various governors and people sentenced to community service rather than gaol time.  I guess the selection process hasn't changed appreciably.

I must admit I saw little point in getting rid of knighthoods from our honours list in the first place but once gone I see even less point in bringing them back.  To keep an archaic honour system long past its use by date is appropriately traditional.  To get rid of it and then sneak it back in several years later smacks too much of pathetic nostalgia and insecurity.

There are some benefits to having knights (and dames) of course.  The word "Sir" in front of your name has got to be good for a board seat or two and guarantees that you will find a publisher for your memoirs even if it can't guarantee people will buy them.  For those of us who don't have such an honour there is a benefit as well.  When the recipient goes to gaol they can be stripped of the honour and since up until that time they will have been known as "Sir" or "Dame" it is going to be very obvious when they can't use it anymore.  Alan Bond was stripped of his Order of Australia when he went to gaol but lets face it how many of us actually knew he had it in the first place.  At the moment all the criminally minded honour bearers (and judging by how they're awarded that must be a sizeable percentage) lose is a couple of letters after their name that always put me in mind of a censorship board classification.

The first two recipients of the honour will be the outgoing and incoming governor generals.  Which raises a rather sneaky thought in my mind.  I suspect Tony Abbott came up with the entire idea as a charming, polite and elegant way to make Quentin Bryce look like a total prat.  She can either refuse and look ungracious or accept (which she has) which will go down wonderfully around the dinner table with her son in law and at various Australians for a republic meetings.