From Lychees to Cannibalism Isn't Really a Big Step

Lychees seem to be a popular fruit at the moment.  I'm not entirely sure why unless people enjoy eating something the size and texture of eyeballs.  Whenever I see a lychee I can't help pausing for a moment to see if it blinks.  Strange to say they are not my favourite fruit.  I'm not crazy about the taste but honestly I think its their resemblance to eyeballs that puts me off.

I suppose its a cultural thing really.  If I were a Bedouin I'd probably be eating lychees by the wagon load waxing lyrical about how eyeball like they are.  Sadly for Bedouins everywhere lychees aren't exactly common in desert areas.  Culture or not I shall stick to my guns.  I refuse to believe that there can be any good ending to a conversation that begins with "Join me in an eyeball."

Before my Bedouin readership rises in outrage let me remind them that I live in Australia.  Any invitation to eat eyeballs in this country probably indicates a widespread outbreak of cannibalism.  While cannibalism in and of itself doesn't particularly disturb me (it's probably healthier than most of the stuff I eat) the prevalence of it in the modern day would tend to indicate a serious collapse of civilisation or what passes for civilisation in the modern day.

This would disturb me a little.  I'm not really equipped to survive a ghastly post civilisation hellscape.  Actually I'm not really equipped to survive a picnic by the river.  The thought that my fellow picnickers might be eyeing me up checking out the choice cuts as I make a mess of spreading my blanket is enough to ruin any enjoyment I might get from the occasion.  Cannibalism puts me in mind of people fortifying homes, breaking out guns (and of course, condiments), wearing animal skins and getting into road races with a much younger Mel Gibson (you know, the one who wasn't insane).

At the present moment my coping skills have been stretched to the limit attempting to assist a five legged spider to get down from a very awkward position over my kitchen sink.  I would like to claim altruism but in fact I could just see the thing falling on me while I did the dishes.  I nudged it with a broom handle and damn near knocked it down on top of me.  It is currently curled up on my lounge room floor doing its best to look dead.  It does this so effectively that twice now I've thought it was dead but as at fifteen minutes ago it was alive if somewhat battered.  I'm thinking of giving it a name but I'm still not certain what the life expectancy is for a five legged spider and I don't want to get too attached.

So if you want to know why I don't like lychees its because looking at them reminds me of the inherent frailty of civilisation and opens up the possibility of a world with problems more difficult to solve than acting as a carer for a disabled arachnid.