God Should Just Get a Twitter Account

In religious news a farmer in India has a goat whose hide markings spell Allah in Arabic script.  He has been caring for it lovingly and hopes the beast will fetch a good price in the Eid al Adha festival.  I suppose the farmer was fortunate that the name of God was written in a language he could understand.  If the name had appeared on the goat's hide in Chinese script he might have committed an unwitting act of sacrilege.

God has this tendency to appear in strange places.  People see him in rock formations, oil slicks, the occasional toasted sandwich and now a goat.  The one place I've never heard of anybody encountering God is in a church.  Possibly he's a little cautious about the company he keeps.

Still the name of God appearing on a goat hey?  It's obviously a sign, it might even be a portent.  A portent is basically a sign with ominous music attached.  A sign might mean anything but a portent means bad news.  A sign could be an indication of joyful news for mankind but a portent pretty much guarantees that the phrase "rivers of blood" will be popular in the coming days.  Portents are bad news.  Here's an example; if a door has the word "Welcome" written on it that's a sign.  If it has the words "Abandon all hope ye who enter here", that's a portent.

So, is this Allah touched goat a portent?  I fear it might be.  There is a rather obscure passage in the Book of Revelations which goes, "and all these things shall come to pass when the iron king shall reign.  The righteous will fall like wheat beneath the scythe, the rivers shall be red with the blood of the faithful and the name of God shall be lost to all but the beasts in the fields".  All right I will admit that it doesn't specifically mentions goats.  I'll also admit that I made the whole thing up but you've got to admit that it sounds pretty damn portentous.  I even managed to get in a "rivers of blood" reference.  On an unrelated note the Book of Revelations is pretty much proof that while hallucinogens might help your creativity they do nothing at all for your comprehensibility.

But back to the goat.  I think the staggering weight of evidence provided in the previous paragraph pretty much establishes the goat's portent credentials.  Let the last word go to the farmer himself.  "We have looked after this goat like our own child.  His meat will be very good."  Obviously the appearance of the name of God on his hide was a portent for the goat at least.