Ha ha! The days of chilly feet are over. I have just taken delivery of my brand new, fuzzy, green dragon slippers. No longer will my ankles feel as though they are teetering on unstable blocks of ice. I can face the upcoming Winter with casual aplomb secure in the knowledge that my feet are nestled in the dragons embrace.
At what point in human development was it decided that civilisation would not advance another step until somebody invented novelty slippers? What is even more surprising is that civilisation (or some unreasonable facsimile of it) continued to advance after their invention. Personally I'm amazed that we didn't just collapse in a welter of self indulgent decadence as all our best and brightest wallowed in the sheer delight of novelty slippers. I know that I was incredibly tempted to take the day off simply so I could bury my feet in my dragons and relax.
I suppose the human race is fortunate that its destiny is guided by people who have a greater sense of duty than I do. These paragons of virtue eschew the enervating luxury of novelty slippers to better guide the people of Earth to a safer and happier tomorrow. Pity them, these sacrifices to duty, as they go about their tasks their feet adorned not with funky bunny slippers or furry bear claws but instead the sensible, stylish footwear which both symbolises and epitomises the stern and crushing burden they have shouldered on our behalf.
Only the grim satisfaction of duty well done can go some small way to alleviate the slipperless deprivation in which they are forced to live out their existence (one could hardly call it a life). Of course its possible I'm giving them too much credit. For all I know as soon as the cameras taking the official photos have departed our political leaders toss aside their hated footwear of authority and revel in the most extravagant slippers of all. That would certainly explain why the world is in such a mess.
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