Its A Zombie! Saunter Slowly Away.

Why are zombies so scary?  After all they're slow, stupid and their reaction time sucks.  If you have to be pursued by a ghastly, netherworldly monster then the zombie is definitely the one to pick.  Let's face it you could have nipped out the back door, caught a cab to the airport and be safely on a flight to Bali while the zombie is still lurching up the drive.

Secondly zombies are easy to kill.  There's none of this mucking about with wooden stakes or silver bullets.  A shotgun loaded with mundane, cost effective pellets will do nicely.  Failing that just run them down with your car (note to Morganne; its probably not wise to try this with a bicycle).  Zombies definitely got the short straw in the hideous monster stakes.  Vampires are cool and murderously sexy, werewolves have that raw animal presence but the poor old zombie is just a badly maintained cadaver.

On the other hand if you get the choice there are a couple of advantages to being a zombie.  Unlike the vampire you can be active (very slow but still, technically, active) twenty four hours a day and you aren't expected to spend most of your disposable income on clothes.  Being a werewolf might seem fun but think of the shedding issues.  At least if a zombie sheds its generally something easy to pick up like an arm.

So there are definite swings and roundabouts to being a zombie but I think the worst part would be the lack of respect.  With vampires and werewolves everybody cringes in fear but when zombies attack every two bit convenience store clerk suddenly becomes an action hero.  There just isn't the same cachet attached to being a zombie as there is for the more socially acceptable undead types.  The zombie leads a bleak, miserable existence shambling slowly after prey it could only hope to catch if its potential victim suffers a heart attack while making its escape.  In all seriousness the only thing a zombie has a hope of catching is another zombie.  From which we can deduce that the simplest way to deal with the zombie menace is simply to wait until there is only one very fat zombie left.  That one probably won't be able to move at all.