The Abominable Post Industrial Wasteland Man

Apparently the Russians have found yetis!  This is exciting news for yeti afficionados everywhere although possibly less good news for the yetis themselves.  There is just one minor catch; the phrase "the Russians have found yetis" is slightly inaccurate.  A more literally correct phrase would be, "the Russians have not found yetis".  They have, however, found where yetis live.  Or to be more accurate, where they think yetis live.  A team of scientists (a term I rather suspect should be in inverted commas) have found trees twisted into a shelter in a remote region east of Moscow.  There are a couple of problems with this, for starters most of Russia is a "remote region east of Moscow" and while this does allow the yetis enough room to stretch out without feeling crowded it does make pinning the hairy beggars down a little more difficult.  Secondly there are all sorts of reasons why trees might be twisted into a shelter before we leap for the yeti option.  I rather suspect that this particular example might be indicative of the presence of draft dodgers rather than yetis.

If it is a yeti nest, however a whole new bunch of questions arise.  The first is; what the hell are yetis doing in Russia?  To the best of my ignorance yetis inhabit the snowy peaks of the Himalayas not heavily industrialised chunks of Russia.  I've read Tintin in Tibet, I know where yetis are supposed to be.  It is just possible I suppose that the Chinese occupation of Tibet has produced more refugees than just the Dalai Lama and his cronies.  It doesn't take too much of a stretch of the imagination to envisage tall, hairy mountain things fleeing communist oppression as well, but fleeing to Russia?  Since when did Russia become the place you go to to avoid oppression?

Still, the prospect of a yeti nest in Russia is exciting news for the locals.  There is the possibility of fame, tourist dollars and the increased likelihood of fresh meat on the table.  Properly preserved an adult yeti should be able to sustain an entire Russian family through the Winter.  That's before we get into the profits from tshirt sales.  The population of the more yeti intensive parts of Russia must be rubbing their hands (and licking their lips) at the prospect of good times to come.

Sadly I think they're going to be disappointed.  Despite all the circumstantial evidence in favour of a yeti presence in Russia there is one indisputable fact which convinces me it isn't true.  So far no footage has emerged of Vladimir Putin shooting a yeti.