I've Recently Bought a New Pair of Bootlaces

I've recently bought a new pair of bootlaces. Yes, I know, the topics for this blog are getting increasingly pathetic as the days go by. Nevertheless I shall persevere. As I was saying, I've recently bought a new pair of bootlaces. Notice, incidentally, how skillfully I padded out the length of this entry by simply repeating my first sentence. In drawing your attention to my cleverness, however, I find that I've forgotten what I was talking about. Oh yes, I've recently bought a new pair of bootlaces.

Such a trivial purchase has nevertheless pleased me immensely. Another thing that pleases me immensely is that I am finally getting into the swing of this blog entry. Let's face it, tempting though it seems I can hardly write a blog entry that simply consists of me writing "I've recently bought a new pair of bootlaces" over and over again. A swift recap of the first paragraph reveals that that is exactly what I have done so far and I feel a little guilty about it to be honest but now I have set my foot upon the highway and am ready to go further. Although frankly if one set a foot on a highway in my neighbourhood there is every chance it would be run over before you got the opportunity to go anywhere, but I digress.

Such digressions are a hallmark of what I shall call (for want of both a better word and a sense of humility) my writing style. I find it very difficult to stay on message even when the message is as simple as I've recently bought a new pair of bootlaces. In my more delusional moments (they usually happen when I'm awake) I like to represent these digressions as the product of an active mind and a fertile imagination. In truth they are merely evidence that I'm too lazy to hold a train of thought much beyond the first two carriages. It would appear that City Rail provides only the second worst train service in the state.

Anyway as I believe I was saying a paragraph and a half ago I'm starting to get into this blog entry. We've already established that I've recently bought a new pair of bootlaces. Furthermore we know that I am rather pleased with this fact. Now I know this isn't much but I think we can all agree that it is something. You know the sort of vague general agreement such as when people broadly agree that snakes and jackals are much the same thing (they both breathe air, drink water and appeared in The Jungle Book).

I loved The Jungle Book when I was a child although I can't imagine what child services would say about Indian adoption practices. Actually, I can imagine it. I think the conversation would go something like this;
"So Mr & Mrs Akela is it? You seem to have a stable home life and I understand that Mr Akela is quite socially prominent in his community. Very good, however we are concerned about your intention to home school young Mowgli and place his education in the hands of a bear and a panther. We're not sure if this takes sufficient account of Mowgli's cultural background and, oh yes, it says here; you're wolves!"

I guess they did things in their own unique style back in the day but if it happened today things would take a very different turn. Mr & Mrs Akela would have left in tears to investigate buying a child from Cambodia (or possibly Angelina Jolie) while Baloo and Bagheera would have had to undertake human cultural sensitivity training in order to keep their teaching licences. Mowgli himself would have been bounced from orphanage to foster home and back again, learnt to steal, developed a serious drug habit and died in a street brawl just before his fifteenth birthday. Oh yes and Shere Khan would have his own version of The Apprentice. Incidentally I do know it wasn't Akela who adopted Mowgli, I just can't remember who did.

Anyway to get back on track, I've recently bought a new pair of bootlaces.

They're red.