Birthday Greetings # 9

Happy birthday to Ferdinand II, Holy Roman Emperor. Ferdinand was born in Graz in 1578 and grew up in a troubling time for Europe. Some time previously Martin Luther had been indicted for vandalising a cathedral and since then religion in Europe has never been the same. The advent of Protestantism had resulted in political unrest, violent disputation, over night switches of faith and an increasing amount of physical violence. Or to put it another way religion was exactly the same.

When religion and politics mix it is generally best to watch the result from a different continent as so it proved in this case. A number of princes of the Holy Roman Empire converted to Protestantism (a couple of the truly hard core went Calvinist but everybody agreed that they were nutcases) partially from genuine religious feeling and partially as a way of reducing the Catholic emperors influence in the empire. Naturally the emperors took a dim view of this.

Despite all the ruckus Ferdinand was confirmed as King of Bohemia, King of Hungary and, in 1619, as Holy Roman Emperor. Ferdinand had a solution for the troubles in the land; Catholicism. Huge lumps of Catholicism administered with a side dish of more Catholicism. Bohemia was the first to receive the medicine, with a large Protestant minority (including some of the nobility) they were an easy target. During the reign of a previous emperor the Bohemian nobles had extracted a series of concessions which Ferdinand cheerfully ignored. The nobility rose in revolt and invited the Protestant Elector Palatine Frederick V to be their king instead. To emphasise their point they tossed a couple of representatives of the emperor out a window. Both men survived, the Catholics claimed the intercession of the Virgin Mary. Protestants pointed out that the pair had landed in a huge pile of shit which had cushioned their fall. It was nothing compared to the huge pile of shit the Bohemian nobility were about to land in.

Spitting blood and Catholic aphorisms Ferdinand marched against his rebellious subjects and at the Battle of White Mountain crushed them so completely that Czech independence was put on the back burner for three and a half centuries. This wake up call stunned the princes of the Empire who suddenly realised that if they wanted Protestantism they would have to fight for it. Ferdinand's position wasn't great as was usual for the Holy Roman Emperors he was flat broke and couldn't afford to pay an army. The Catholic princes of the empire although technically on his side weren't that crazy about an over powerful emperor either fortunately a combination of family money and ruthless opportunism came to his assistance. Spain was at that time the wealthiest kingdom in Europe and it was a wholly owned subsidiary of Habsburg World Domination Incorporated. Spanish money raised an army and provided a commander, Johann Tserclaes, Count of Tilly. Possibly the only time a Belgian has become a world famous military commander. Tilly was a hard but capable leader and he swiftly won victories over the forces of the Palatinate (that place that Frederick came from before stupidly accepting the crown of Bohemia).

Still broke Ferdinand turned now to opportunism in the form of a ruthless member of the (Catholic) Bohemian nobility by the name of Albrecht von Wallenstein. Wallenstein undertook to raise (and most importantly pay) an army to serve in the emperors name. He proved to be an even greater military genius than Tilly and Ferdinand's troops rampaged through the empire. With victory seemingly within his grasp Ferdinand drew up ordinances which had a lot to do with retribution and very little to do with christian charity. The terrified surviving Protestants banded together and begged the King of Sweden (who conveniently had a large army on the border) to come and save them. This king Gustav Adolfus proved to be an even greater commander than Tilly or Wallenstein and began restoring the balance of power. All this time the French were sitting on the sidelines, funding the Protestants and trying not to laugh their heads off.

Wallenstein, you may be surprised to learn, had not raised an army and rained death down on Germany out of love for his monarch and had been using his position to gather titles and territories the way some people collect stamps. In response to a rising tide of discontent Ferdinand sacked him. Then Tilly sacked Magdeburg and the Swedes defeated him in battle. Swiftly Ferdinand unsacked Wallenstein and gave him command of what were after all Wallenstein's armies. The greatest clash of the war took place at the Battle of Lutzen where Wallenstein was defeated but Gustav Adolfus was killed. This seemed to give Ferdinand the whip hand but unfortunately Wallenstein who had always been a little weird now seemed to be going completely gaga. When he demanded that his officers take an oath of loyalty to him personally Ferdinand had had enough. His actual responsibility for what happened next is unsure but he probably made some variant on the "Who shall rid me of this turbulent priest" speech. He certainly didn't seem particularly put out when a group of imperial officers murdered Wallenstein in his bed.

With the departure of all three talented military leaders (Tilly had died in battle somewhat earlier) the war ground on with the French finally stepping in to support the Protestants and the Spanish to support Ferdinand. The war was still going when Ferdinand died leaving his son and namesake to sort out the mess.

For the record the peace that ended the Thirty Years War appeared to be a disaster for the Habsburgs as it confirmed the right of every prince to sponsor whatever religion he wanted (as long as it was Catholic or Protestant) and reduced the powers of the emperor to pretty much nothing. On the other hand Ferdinand's ruthless suppression of Protestantism within his own personal lands made them a solid Catholic bulwark and more loyal to the Habsburgs as a result. One other thing came out of the war. After their experience with Wallenstein the Habsburgs decided to raise a standing army so that they need never fear such an over mighty subject again. It is also probably the origin of the Habsburgs highly ambiguous attitude towards genius in general and military genius in particular. Mediocrities might not win battles but they don't overthrow emperors either.