Cthulhu Made in China

My birthday has just wandered past creating mild interest among those who care. A weekend in the Blue Mountains visiting friends and family was the chosen means of celebration, quiet and unostentatious in keeping with my new advanced age. Presents were duly given and received with gratitude but for sheer giggle factor my brothers must stand out.

If, like me, you are a fan of HP Lovecraft you know who Cthulhu is.

"In the stone gardens of sunken R'lyeh dead Cthulhu lies dreaming."

Eons ago when man was little more than an animal crawling on the Earth the Great Old Ones ruled and greatest among them was Cthulhu. Mankind worshipped and adored these beings of ancient wisdom and endless malice, but the stars moved and circumstances changed, the Old Ones died and their great city of R'lyeh sank beneath the waves. Cthulhu prepared against this day by sending his dreams into the sleep of men so that they would stand ready when the stars shifted again and the power of the Old Ones could rise. At first there was worship, then superstition and finally as millenia rolled by the dreams died and memories faded.

In the more civilised parts of the world the very name Cthulhu was forgotten so completely that no trace of his worship remained but in the more primitive parts where the condition of mankind was closer to that which it had been when the Old Ones ruled some fragment stayed alive. Debased remnants of meaningless prayers, garbled chants that had once held great power and above all else a reminder to watch the stars.

When the stars aligned again the dreams of Cthulhu could be heard once more. Among the more sensitive of the civilised world strange nightmares, madness and an outcrop of breathtaking but terribly depraved art were the harbingers of Cthulhu's call. Among the most superstitious and corrupt of the primitive races the message was clearer and ancient chants were sung and sacrifices offered to a half forgotten god who promised to raise his worshippers to the level of dominance they had once enjoyed over men. In the South Pacific the seas boiled and the topmost towers of R'lyeh appeared above the waves. The dread lord of that city Cthulhu himself rose briefly but the stars shifted before his worshipers could establish him and both city and god sank into death once more.

Now in the second decade of the twenty first century in the Chinese city of Yangzhou a factory is making Cthulhu plush toys and my brother bought me one for my birthday. Tentacles, claws, wings its all there. The nightmare beast of Lovecraft's (slightly disturbing) imagination is now a fuzzy curiosity on my wall. So far I haven't heard of any velour cities rising above the waves.

I spent the weekend in the Blue Mountains visiting friends and family. Katoomba was pleasantly warm on Saturday and well stocked with bookshops where I managed to purchase a Biggles book I didn't yet own and where Rachelle very kindly bought me Theodore Roosevelt's autobiography and a biography of Charles XII of Sweden. In parentheses I should add that if Roosevelt were alive today he would probably be kicked out of the Republican party for suspected communist tendencies.

Dinner with Rachelle and David was fantastic, David apportioning the garlic with an appropriately generous hand. On Sunday morning looking from their back verandah across the bush I could see nothing because of the mist. I love mornings like that. Then to my parents house further down the mountains for birthday lunch. Good conversation and better food. Plus a Cthulhu plush toy! In fairness I must state I was delighted with all my presents but the plush toy is still making me giggle.

The weekend was a happy time for me, it was a less happy time for Australia's sheep population which took a bit of a battering with roast lamb being on the menu at both houses. I haven't noticed any moves to put sheep on the endangered species list so I can only assume they have come through the disaster ok. Speaking of which I wonder if we can place the animals that have waxed greatly as a consequence of their contact with humans against those we have wiped out? All right the dodo is definitely gone, so is the tasmanian tiger and a bucketload of other species but check out how many rats there are. Dogs, cats and cows are likewise doing pretty well out of the old human race. Don't even talk to me about cockroaches.

It is my theory that cockroaches survive by external evolution. That is other animals evolve to convenience them. We dragged ourselves out of the swamp, started living in caves and hitting things with sticks. Who benefited? Us of course but the greatest benefit was to the humble cockroach which got shelter, food supply and a constant source of amusement without having to evolve or learn a damn thing. I can't stand cockroaches but I have a nervous admiration for them. Nervous because I rather suspect that if they decided they were better of without us we wouldn't stand a chance.

This is my birthday message for the people, be clean, be tidy but don't be too fanatical about it. We don't want the cockroaches deciding they would be better off if siberian tigers were the dominant species on the planet. Although at this point it is likely to be the only thing that will save the siberian tiger.